They're hiring TEMPS at the PIPE factory
Today I found this horrific ad for a job on Gumtree. I present it for your amusement:

We are hiring a FUN & enthusiastic Admin Assistant for our UK OFFICE! Must enjoy a fast paced changing environment with a great ATMOSPHERE and be willing to TRAIN for more than ONE position! We take our COMPANY, our EMPLOYEES very serious - we just don't take OURSELVES too serious!

Must have AWESOME phones manners and be EXTREMELY articulate. Great customer service skills would be a bonus. Must have COMPUTER/TYPING skills working with MSWORD, MSEXCEL & MSOUTLOOK! Great time management skills and ability to thrive under pressure are an added bonus. Highly ORGANISED but able to have FUN too! We will settle for NOTHING less than BRILLIANT - and we are willing to PAY for it! We ONLY promote from WITHIN our company and our LOYALTY is for ONLY those committed AND devoted to OUR business!

The role will start as a temp role for three months to fill a gap due to expansion within the business with the possibility of extending. To apply: We will select the PERSON - not the PAPER - for a ONE-ON-ONE interview send us your CV and PHOTO and a "LETTER OF INTENT" explaining why YOU are the ONE we are looking for! ALL candidates WILL be considered for an INTERVIEW! People don't PLAN to fail - they FAIL to plan! So, PLAN on making a GREAT 1st impression on us and give it your BEST shot! GOOD LUCK!