Seán H ([info]ohnefuehlen) wrote,
@ 2009-06-23 14:42:00
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Follow-up
The thought behind the cut is brief, and can be ignored by anyone who didn't read (or, having read, didn't care about) my last post.

Novak highlights the "natural" parents, i.e. the contributors of genetic material, as those who ought to be raising a child, a moral imperative almost on the level of a right to life. But take the example, used by Novak, of a lesbian couple, one of whom is inseminated by a man (friend or stranger, doesn't matter) so that they can have a child. This pregnancy, and subsequent child, is the product of two unions. One is biological, the man's (let's call him Ted) sperm with the woman's (let's call her Selma) ovum. The other is intentional, the two women (let's call the other woman Lisa) having decided together to raise a child.

Selma and Lisa have made this decision together. They're reading up on parenthood, setting money aside, turning the study into the kid's room, knitting baby clothes. Ted, on the other hand, ejaculated into a cup. Why is he given precedence as a parent (which he does not want to be, at least in the sense of raising a child directly) over Lisa, who desperately wants to be the mother of this child? And why does the child have a right to be raised by Ted, based on a shared genetic heritage? I just don't understand this privileging of the biological.



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[info]lux_fiat
2009-06-25 09:37 pm UTC (link)
There is nothing at all to suggest that "this is how it is meant to work". The only reason that men and women are supposed to bring different things to a parental unit is because of spurious gender roles that have been systematically drummed into us for centuries. There are plenty of families where the mother is more disciplinarian and the father more nurturing and vice versa and there is nothing to suggest that a same sex couple would not bring every necessary element to child rearing.

I too was raised without a father and turned out pretty well. For a while my mother had a boyfriend and, even though I hated the guy and he and my mother fought all the damn time, I wanted it to work out just because I wanted my mother to be happy, which would have given me a more stable home. Later I realised that my mother didn't love this man and my home would have been more harmonious without him. Lo and behold, it was. Now if my mother had met a woman she fell in love with, who loved her and me and my sister and wanted the same things as my mother, that would have been fine by me. Two happy, loving parents of the same sex or so much preferable to a het couple who hate eachother, yet whose side is the law on?

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